I wake up early in the morning and it's still dark outside. I feel energized, content and alive. Outside is stillness, no-one has gotten up yet. But I have no clue what to do. With my time and with my energy, so early in the morning. I force myself to sleep and I can feel how I cramp my muscles to stop the energy speeding through my body. I fall back into sleep and I wake up a few hours later. The day has arrived, I can hear people outside. But now I feel sleepy and I am ready to pity myself and the world.
Obviously, I chose to be in a state of dis-ease instead of going for the healthy, more energetic choice. Dis-ease is in this example is the ab-sence of vitality. When I envisioned myself of being healthy, then I saw a young man who wakes up content and refreshed, ready to fulfill his dreams. Disciplined he follows his morning routine without any effort. He is clear-minded, focused but still relaxed. I suffer because my expectation (based on my life experience) is not matching my perceived reality. There are two options to change the situation: A. I am making a plan to become my idol self. I try harder. B. I change the concept of my idol self or even get rid off it. The concept of health In our mind we hold a version of ourselves that resonates with a "healthy me". We can aspire to become that version or we get rid of concepts and rest in our true nature that connects us with the universe, nature and god. I do not want to convince you for either way even though you definitely can read my preference out of my words. Nevertheless, I am still using both approaches. The night book Everyone who is interested in playing with words is free to read this section where different languages (perspectives) are used to understand the direction of the words. Read on own risk. When I say the word "health" and I listen with my german ears then I might hear the word "helf" which could point to the verb "to help". Being of service to others has highest priority in all religions and stands opposed to a western culture that tends to take things personally, believing that their problems is their's to own. I thought my "healthy me" would be sporty, energetic and disciplined but maybe that's only my conditioning which educated me to be a performer and a competitor. In this sense, I might change to define my "healthy me" as relaxed, empathic, spontaneous, kind, loving, generous and helping. What you can do now: Envision your idol, healthy self and maybe you want to write it down. Let it rest. There is no right or wrong. Distance yourself from your output. Take a walk, drink a tea or something and then you can come back to your idol self. It really only makes sense if you take a break after your first output. Now, look at it again, with your neutral eyes. Observe your state and try to maintain your objectivity. Observe the change from "neutrality" to "identified". Become sensitive to the subtle shifts of states.
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December 2023
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